Fratton Park, Portsmouth
 Portsmouth v Southampton
Monday, March 21st 2004, 4.05pm
By Chris Hayward

So my first official league visit to the "Dark side" of Hampshire in 18 years. I was there last season to watch the wife's team and enjoyed the atmosphere sat amongst the home fans (PFC won 6-2). Now though I go as one of their Red & White "favourites" from down the road. We board the coaches for the quick dash down the M27 escorted by Hants finest (blues and two's fully operational). I'm taking the old man and my eldest, so we have a quick nerve stiffener in the pub before we set off joking about the warm reception that surely awaits us(!)

Emotions are running high and there's plenty of singing and also nervous chatter about glad to get "a point and get home in one piece". After 2-0 and 3-0 at St. Mary's in the Carling Cup and Premier League back in December, confidence should be high, but our recent form has been poor since Christmas. I hope we sneak it 0-1 (fingers are definitely crossed).

Well an uneventful drive in, with the odd "friendly" local waving a cheery hello to the 19 coaches as we come down Eastern Avenue. Dropped off near the ground and well surrounded by Hants versions of Robocop with the dogs fully unmuzzled (unusual for Hants Constabulary) its a short but unusual stroll to the Milton away end. Not direct to Sprents Lane via the industrial estate alleys which are full of a locals welcoming committee (ticket less version, as well the more vociferous season ticket holders), but past the Ty Europe (Fratton) stand home end and down the back of the North stand. It gives both sets of fans a chance to exchange pleasantries and enquire about each others parental ancestries. Just becoming a little more nervous and thinking that bringing the lad was not the smartest idea I've ever had. At this point I'm glad to say that the Police and Portsmouth stewards were excellent at keeping the more antagonistic groups of both set of fans apart. Very professional and polite - well done. I had heard and expected a rough ride from the stewards, but top marks to them.

Once inside, the away end was all I expected it to be and more (or should that be less). I think I would rate the facilities at Aldershot town better (sorry Shots fans). For a Premiership club, with a 2nd Division ground its facilities are just poor. Bristol City this year was much better. Of course you'd think that I would say that, I am a Saints fan after all. Seriously though - no roof, 4 Port-a-loo's for 2,000 fans, 1 kiosk for food, it made me long for the wide open spaces and facilities of The Dell (palatial in comparison). Anyway this isn't "Relocation, Relocation", I'm not planning to buy a flat in "Pompey Village" and I didn't come for the fine views and cosy atmosphere. It was going to be hostile and uncomfortable, but we hadn't lost here since '63 (I was too young to go then) and isn't that part of the "derby" atmosphere - as long as its just "banter". Crossing my toes at this point. We serenade the locals with "the wheels on your house go round and round". Don't think they like us much. Caravan and fish jokes go down like lead balloons.

 

We sing loudly and provoke a warm greeting from the Milton enclosure of the South stand, but who cares we watch the lads come out and warm up. At this point nerves start to show and head scratching starts in earnest.....what midfield line up did they announce (NOOOOO - Not McCann). Someone says Michael Svensson looks to be limping and the butterflies erupt into full force. Crainey gets 4 minutes notice that he's playing. To cap it all the heavens open and we are treated to a hailstone power shower. The bell ringers are loving it from their antique covered stands. Even the weather hates us.

Can I be bothered to describe the game.....barely!!! Its supposed to be two sides both of eleven players, but we left 7 of ours in the dressing room. I know I saw eleven Red and White shirts on the pitch but only Niemi, Phillips and Higginbotham were recognisable. Nil nil at half time, thanks to the best keeper in the Premiership and some of the worst finishing I've seen. Got to get better in the second half....No chance. Hoof it over the midfield, over the line, all over the pitch. Poor team eventually scores against non existent team, who wake up for the last 15 minutes and remember that the round white thing is the ball. We nearly fluke an equaliser due to Kev Phillips never say die attitude, but that would have been day light robbery. We got exactly what we deserved out of this game....absolutely nothing. I start composing my letter of complaint to Wupert Lowe (Chairman) about sticking certain players down coal mines (forever) due to lack of effort etc etc. This may just
provoke a Pompey revival and escape attempt from a drop back down to their Nationwide home (nightmare). Mobile is switched off due to gloating PFC mates who are rubbing in their "Magnificent crushing victory". "2-0, 3-0; 2-0, 3-0" repeat with fingers in ears....I can't hear you!!

Needless to say the locals are ecstatic and many of the more civilised ones stay to describe the party they will throw for us outside. We decline their invitation and spend the next 45 minutes in the company of the police and stewards, serenading MLT who's been doing the commentary on Sky and giving Tim Sherwood (also guest presenter) as much grief as we can (he takes it with a smile on his face) in their gantry position behind the Milton stand. The grounds nearly empty and we still can't go home, so a few chorus's of "Sh*t ground, no fans" to the smug, pleasant and now very happy stewards, "we can see you sneaking out", "its all gone quiet over there", "shall we sing a song for you" and finally "I'm tired and I want to go to bed". Never was going to risk the pubs in town, so can't recommend anything except don't go there. Stay at home and watch it on the telly.

Finally we are allowed out and back to the coach which turns out to be the best option as I hear the next day of trouble that beset fans going back to Fratton Station. Glad I was not one of the 350-400 Police on duty or one of the innocent Pompey fans who were caught up in the trouble caused by the their sizeable thug element trying to get at the away fans. Neanderthal man is not entirely extinct, small bands still roam the waste lands of Fratton...hopefully in ever decreasing numbers.

Pompey fans have proved as we did last year in the FA Cup, that they can be fantastic fans (on the whole) and certainly can generate a great atmosphere. The better team on the day won. I have though said that through gritted teeth and the defeat, especially the gutless nature of our performance, means that this day is going to hurt for a very long time. On the way home we have the odd souvenir throw to us by the locals as we exit via Southsea and Old Portsmouth. What initial talk there is, is of getting revenge on the pitch next year, but I for now wish them a speedy trip back to the Nationwide, even it means another 18 years before we have a chance of avenging this defeat. Later its mostly long silences, punctuated by questions on Sturrocks choice of midfield and what needs to be done against Spurs next week to avoid being pulled down into the relegation scrap. Two games as manager, is the honeymoon over so quickly for Paul or will 3 points against Spurs at home lift the gloom. Think positive 5-1 over the season. Can I throw a sicky on Monday or should I get it over with.... face the music/gloating.?

I'm sure there's a big storm cloud hovering over our coach all the way home!

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